1775年，国会对乔治·华盛顿说:“为了解放这个国家，你必须鞭打英国人，把他们赶过大海。”“哦，很好，”华盛顿说，“我会尽我所能。我要狠狠地揍那些英国人，把他们鞭打成一个男人。”1777年，国会对乔治·华盛顿说:“人民都在抱怨;你为什么不打架?你只能退却，然后再退却。”“那是没有办法的，”华盛顿说，“当你看到小说家们是如何把事情给我弄得一团糟的时候，你就会完全同意的。”国会对乔治·华盛顿说:“请把你的意思说清楚。”华盛顿说:“啊，当然——但是请原谅我的眼泪。“我们当然知道，”华盛顿说，“这场战争的目的是为小说家提供爱国情怀。” Said Congress to George Washington: "Yes! yes! but pray proceed." Said Washington: "My part in it Is difficult indeed, For every hero in the books Must sometime meet with me, And every sweet-faced heroine I must kiss gallantly." Said Congress to George Washington: "But why must you retreat?" Said Washington: "One moment, please, My story to complete. These hero-folk are scattered through The whole United States; At every little country town A man or maiden waits." To Congress said George Washington: "At Harlem I must be On such a day to chat with one, And then I'll have to flee With haste to Jersey, there to meet Another. Here's a list Of sixty-seven heroes, and There may be some I've missed." To Congress said George Washington: "Since I must meet them all (And if I don't you know how flat The novels all will fall), I cannot take much time to fight, I must be on the run, Or some historic novelist Will surely be undone." Said Congress to George Washington: "You are a noble man. Your thoughtfulness is notable, And we approve your plan; A battle won pads very well A novel that is thin, But it is better to retreat Than miss one man and win." Said Congress to George Washington: "Kiss every pretty maid, But do it in a courtly way And in a manner staid -- And some day when your sword is sheathed And all our banners furled, A crop of novels will spring up That shall appal the world." Submitted by John Martin