You call me courageous, I who grew up gnawing on books, as some kids gnaw on bubble gum, who married disastrously not once but three times, yet have a lovely daughter I would not undo for all the dope in California. Fear was my element, fear my contagion. I swam in it till I became immune. The plane takes off & I laugh aloud. Call me courageous. I am still alive.