致爱尔兰大法官阁下，致弗朗西丝·哈里斯的卑微请愿书，如果请愿失败，她就得饿死，像个少女一样死去;谦卑地说，我到贝蒂夫人的房间里去取暖，因为我觉得冷;我的钱包里还有七镑，四先令，六便士(除了四分硬币外)的钱和金子。因此，因为我昨晚一直在为我的夫人买东西，我决定告诉我的钱，看看它是否正确。现在，你必须知道，因为我的箱子有一把很坏的锁，所以我所有的钱，上帝知道，都是很少的股票，我放在我的口袋里，系在腰间，紧挨着我的罩衫。所以当我按照上帝的旨意去收钱包的时候，我的罩衫没有撕开，我没有把它放进口袋，而是滑了下来;铃响了，我下楼去哄我的夫人上床。上帝知道，我以为我的钱和我的处女头一样安全。所以，当我再上来的时候，我发现我的口袋很轻;但当我寻找，却找不到我的钱包，主啊! I thought I should have sunk outright. "Lord! madam," says Mary, "how d'ye do?" -"Indeed," says I, "never worse: But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my purse?" "Lord help me!" says Mary, "I never stirred out of this place!" "Nay," said I, "I had it in Lady Betty's chamber, that's a plain case." So Mary got me to bed, and covered me up warm: However, she stole away my garters, that I might do myself no harm. So I tumbled and tossed all night, as you may very well think, But hardly ever set my eyes together, or slept a wink. So I was a-dreamed, methought, that I went and searched the folks round, And in a corner of Mrs Duke's box, tied in a rag, the money was found. So next morning we told Whittle, and he fell a swearing: Then my dame Wadgar came, and she, you know, is thick of hearing. "Dame," says I, as loud as I could bawl, "do you know what a loss I have had?" "Nay," says she, "my Lord Colway's folks are all very sad: For my Lord Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail." "Pugh!" said I, "but that's not the business that I ail." Says Cary, says he, "I have been a servant this five and twenty years come spring, And in all the places I lived I never heard of such a thing." "Yes," says the steward, "I remember when I was at my Lord Shrewsbury's, Such a thing as this happened, just about the time of gooseberries." So I went to the party suspected, and I found her full of grief: (Now, you must know, of all things in the world I hate a thief:) However, I was resolved to bring the discourse slily about: "Mrs Duke," said I, "here's an ugly accident has happened out: 'Tis not that I value the money three skips of a louse: But the thing I stand upon is the credit of the house. 'Tis true, seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence makes a great hole in my wages: Besides, as they say, service is no inheritance in these ages. Now, Mrs Duke, you know, and everybody understands, That though 'tis hard to judge, yet money can't go without hands." "The devil take me!" said she, (blessing herself,) "if ever I saw't!" So she roared like a bedlam, as though I had called her all to naught. So, you know, what could I say to her any more? I e'en left her, and came away as wise as I was before. Well; but then they would have had me gone to the cunning man: "No," said I, "'tis the same thing, the CHAPLAIN will be here anon." So the Chaplain came in. Now the servants say he is my sweetheart, Because he's always in my chamber, and I always take his part. So, as the devil would have it, before I was aware, out I blundered, "Parson," said I, "can you cast a nativity, when a body's plundered?" (Now you must know, he hates to be called Parson, like the devil!) "Truly," says he, "Mrs Nab, it might become you to be more civil; If your money be gone, as a learned Divine says, d'ye see, You are no text for my handling; so take that from me: I was never taken for a Conjurer before, I'd have you to know." "Lord!" said I, "don't be angry, I am sure I never thought you so; You know I honour the cloth; I design to be a Parson's wife; I never took one in your coat for a conjurer in all my life." With that he twisted his girdle at me like a rope, as who should say, `Now you may go hang yourself for me!' and so went away. Well: I thought I should have swooned. "Lord!" said I, "what shall I do? I have lost my money, and shall lose my true love too!" Then my lord called me: "Harry," said my lord, "don't cry; I'll give you something toward thy loss: "And," says my lady, "so will I." Oh! but, said I, what if, after all, the Chaplain won't come to? For that, he said (an't please your Excellencies), I must petition you. The premisses tenderly considered, I desire your Excellencies' protection, And that I may have a