我要讲的是英格兰国王克努特，他是丹麦人，他的爱好是漫游、掠夺和在海里划脚。每年夏天，他都会来我们的海岸，想吃什么就吃什么，到了秋天，他又会回来要更多。这些旅行总能给他带来利润，但让他困惑的是，这里……英国人得到了所有的钱，他每年都来取走他们。在充分考虑了这件事之后，他得出结论，他的最佳方案是，入侵英格兰，从源头上获取补给。他让其他的维京人加入他，承诺掠夺和掠夺，并搜集了暴行的故事，让他们热血沸腾。一天早上，他们在韦茅斯登陆，等待战斗开始，而他们的敌人，未准备好的埃塞尔雷德，找到了他的军队，并让他们陷入了困境。战争结束后，英格兰国王换了头像，历史书上是这么写的，从埃塞尔雷德的七又四分之一，到卡努特国王的六又五八分。维京人为胜利者欢呼，埃塞尔雷德，他去了某个地方，死了，而克努特，为了他永久的赎罪…让寡妇艾玛王后成为他的新娘。 She started to teach him his manners, To drink without wetting his nose, Put his hand to his mouth and say "Pardon!", Every time the occasion arose. She said his companions was vulgar, His habits more easy than free, Made him promise no more to disgrace her, By paddling his feet in the sea. At the time this 'ere promise meant nothing, It were made in the cool of the spring, But when summer came in with a heat wave, T' were a totally different thing. He moved his court down to the seaside, Where they took off their shoes and their socks, And rushed to the water and left him, Alone on his throne on the rocks. Said one, "Come on King, have a paddle, I'll look after your sceptre and crown." He replied, "Nay, I promised the missus, And I can't let the old... lady down." "No need to do that," said the Tempter, "The tide's coming in, as you see; You promised you wouldn't go to it, But you can't stop it coming to thee!" And that's how it happened... that later, When Emma came over the sands, She found Canute knee deep in water, Trying to shush the sea back with his hands. For not letting on that he'd seen her, He was chiding each wave as it came, Saying, "Thus far, my lad, and no further!" 'Til Emma said, "What is this game?" He replied, These 'ere flatterers told me, That the sea would obey me, and so, I'm giving them this demonstration, To show what a fat lot they know." "You're doing quite right," shouted Emma, "It's time someone made them look small!" Then she took off her shoes and her stockings, And started to paddle an' all.