“我的第一件事——别以为，”他说，“我要给你出个谜语——就是——如果你的受害者躺在床上，不要碰他头上的窗帘，而要从中间抓起，”慢慢地把窗帘摇进摇出，同时把它们拉开;再过一分钟，毫无疑问，他就会抬起头，用愤怒和惊奇的眼神环顾四周。“在这里，你必须毫不掩饰地提出第一个意见。等待受害者开始:没有任何常识的鬼魂开始谈话。“如果他说‘你怎么到这儿来了?(就像你开头说的那样，先生)在这种情况下，你的路线是明确的——“在蝙蝠的背上，我的小宝贝!”是合适的答案。“如果在这之后他不再说了，你最好减少你的努力——去摇一摇门，然后，如果他开始打鼾，你就知道这件事失败了。“白天，如果他独自在家或散步，你只是发出一声空洞的呻吟，表示你想说话的语气。“但如果你发现他和他的朋友在一起，事情就难了。 In such a case success depends On picking up some candle-ends, Or butter, in the larder. "With this you make a kind of slide (It answers best with suet), On which you must contrive to glide, And swing yourself from side to side - One soon learns how to do it. "The Second tells us what is right In ceremonious calls:- 'FIRST BURN A BLUE OR CRIMSON LIGHT' (A thing I quite forgot to-night), 'THEN SCRATCH THE DOOR OR WALLS.'" I said "You'll visit HERE no more, If you attempt the Guy. I'll have no bonfires on MY floor - And, as for scratching at the door, I'd like to see you try!" "The Third was written to protect The interests of the Victim, And tells us, as I recollect, TO TREAT HIM WITH A GRAVE RESPECT, AND NOT TO CONTRADICT HIM." "That's plain," said I, "as Tare and Tret, To any comprehension: I only wish SOME Ghosts I've met Would not so CONSTANTLY forget The maxim that you mention!" "Perhaps," he said, "YOU first transgressed The laws of hospitality: All Ghosts instinctively detest The Man that fails to treat his guest With proper cordiality. "If you address a Ghost as 'Thing!' Or strike him with a hatchet, He is permitted by the King To drop all FORMAL parleying - And then you're SURE to catch it! "The Fourth prohibits trespassing Where other Ghosts are quartered: And those convicted of the thing (Unless when pardoned by the King) Must instantly be slaughtered. "That simply means 'be cut up small': Ghosts soon unite anew. The process scarcely hurts at all - Not more than when YOU're what you call 'Cut up'by a Review. "The Fifth is one you may prefer That I should quote entire:- THE KING MUST BE ADDRESSED AS 'SIR.' THIS, FROM A SIMPLE COURTIER, IS ALL THE LAWS REQUIRE: "BUT, SHOULD YOU WISH TO DO THE THING WITH OUT-AND-OUT POLITENESS, ACCOST HIM AS 'MY GOBLIN KING! AND ALWAYS USE, IN ANSWERING, THE PHRASE 'YOUR ROYAL WHITENESS!' "I'm getting rather hoarse, I fear, After so much reciting : So, if you don't object, my dear, We'll try a glass of bitter beer - I think it looks inviting."