一位城里有名的绅士现在需要你亲切的关注;东印度经纪业是他的行当，他的名字我就不提了:没有一个精明的人会违背我的秘密，我能去做吗?不!他的名字我就不提了。他有一个忠实的妻子和一个诚实的人，还有非常舒适的住处，一个经理，一两个男孩，六个职员和七个搬运工。一个能雇用一个好动的小伙子、六个职员和七个搬运工的经纪人，他的生意一定很好(任何一个疯子都看得出来)。他的门环上没有广告，没有损失使他生气，他有一个悲伤——只有一个——他非常笨重。我想说，一个人，拥有他的首领，一定是非常幸运的唯一的遗憾是，他太笨重了。“这种负担，”他会说，“我承受不了;我有19英石或20英石! Henceforward I'll go in for air And exercise in plenty." Most people think that, should it come, They can reduce a bulging tum To measures fair By taking air And exercise in plenty. In every weather, every day, Dry, muddy, wet, or gritty, He took to dancing all the way From Brompton to the City. You do not often get the chance Of seeing sugar brokers dance From their abode In Fulham Road Through Brompton to the City. He braved the gay and guileless laugh Of children with their nusses, The loud uneducated chaff Of clerks on omnibuses. Against all minor things that rack A nicely-balanced mind, I'll back The noisy chaff And ill-bred laugh Of clerks on omnibuses. His friends, who heard his money chink, And saw the house he rented, And knew his wife, could never think What made him discontented. It never entered their pure minds That fads are of eccentric kinds, Nor would they own That fat alone Could make one discontented. "Your riches know no kind of pause, Your trade is fast advancing; You dance - but not for joy, because You weep as you are dancing. To dance implies that man is glad, To weep implies that man is sad; But here are you Who do the two - You weep as you are dancing!" His mania soon got noised about And into all the papers; His size increased beyond a doubt For all his reckless capers: It may seem singular to you, But all his friends admit it true - The more he found His figure round, The more he cut his capers. His bulk increased - no matter that - He tried the more to toss it - He never spoke of it as "fat," But "adipose deposit." Upon my word, it seems to me Unpardonable vanity (And worse than that) To call your fat An "adipose deposit." At length his brawny knees gave way, And on the carpet sinking, Upon his shapeless back he lay And kicked away like winking. Instead of seeing in his state The finger of unswerving Fate, He laboured still To work his will, And kicked away like winking. His friends, disgusted with him now, Away in silence wended - I hardly like to tell you how This dreadful story ended. The shocking sequel to impart, I must employ the limner's art - If you would know, This sketch will show How his exertions ended. MORAL. I hate to preach - I hate to prate - - I'm no fanatic croaker, But learn contentment from the fate Of this East India broker. He'd everything a man of taste Could ever want, except a waist; And discontent His size anent, And bootless perseverance blind, Completely wrecked the peace of mind Of this East India broker.