我曾经认识一个土耳其人，他的名字叫EFFENDI KHAN BACKSHEESH PASHA BEN ALLAH ACHMET。我还认识一位布朗医生——我经常吃他的赏金;土耳其人和他住在苏塞克斯的胡埃，那是一个可爱的郡!我在那儿认识一位漂亮的年轻女士，她叫艾米丽·麦克弗森，虽然她留着别人的头发，但她是个有趣的人。土耳其人崇拜胡尔的女仆(尽管他的后宫会让她震惊)。但是布朗也很崇拜那个姑娘:他是一个极具诱惑力的医生。她走到哪里，他们就跟到哪里——这是最不合适的做法;因为他们俩谁也不在乎。布朗不知道那个土耳其男人，他可能是他神圣的母亲:在这个简单的故事中，人们彼此完全陌生。有一天，那个土耳其人病得很厉害，痛苦不堪; He threw himself upon the floor And rolled about in pain excessive. It made him moan, it made him groan, And almost wore him to a mummy. Why should I hesitate to own That pain was in his little tummy? At length a doctor came, and rung (As ALLAH ACHMET had desired), Who felt his pulse, looked up his tongue, And hemmed and hawed, and then inquired: "Where is the pain that long has preyed Upon you in so sad a way, sir?" The Turk he giggled, blushed, and said: I don't exactly like to say, sir." "Come, nonsense!" said good DOCTOR BROWN. "So this is Turkish coyness, is it? You must contrive to fight it down - Come, come, sir, please to be explicit." The Turk he shyly bit his thumb, And coyly blushed like one half-witted, "The pain is in my little tum," He, whispering, at length admitted. "Then take you this, and take you that - Your blood flows sluggish in its channel - You must get rid of all this fat, And wear my medicated flannel. "You'll send for me when you're in need - My name is BROWN - your life I've saved it." "My rival!" shrieked the invalid, And drew a mighty sword and waved it: "This to thy weazand, Christian pest!" Aloud the Turk in frenzy yelled it, And drove right through the doctor's chest The sabre and the hand that held it. The blow was a decisive one, And DOCTOR BROWN grew deadly pasty, "Now see the mischief that you've done - You Turks are so extremely hasty. "There are two DOCTOR BROWNS in Hooe - HE'S short and stout, I'M tall and wizen; You've been and run the wrong one through, That's how the error has arisen." The accident was thus explained, Apologies were only heard now: "At my mistake I'm really pained - I am, indeed - upon my word now. "With me, sir, you shall be interred, A mausoleum grand awaits me." "Oh, pray don't say another word, I'm sure that more than compensates me. "But p'r'aps, kind Turk, you're full inside?" "There's room," said he, "for any number." And so they laid them down and died. In proud Stamboul they sleep their slumber.