这是一个强盗的女儿，她的名字叫爱丽丝·布朗，她的父亲是意大利一个小镇的恐怖人物;她的母亲是个愚蠢、软弱、但和蔼可亲的老太婆;但我要唱的不是她的父母。一天，爱丽丝正坐在窗台前，一位年轻貌美的绅士碰巧从那儿经过。她把目光投向他，他显得那么善良和真诚，她想:“和你这样的绅士在一起，我会很幸福的!”每天早晨都有一群上等人从她家门前经过，她知道他可能在十点差一刻到达;作为海关的分拣员，这是他每天要走的路(海关离她的住处有十五分钟的步行路程)。但是爱丽丝是个虔诚的姑娘，她知道用一双富有表情的紫色眼睛看着陌生的年轻分拣员是不明智的;于是，她去找村里的牧师，她的家人向他忏悔，他仔细地评估了他们的小罪。“啊，圣父大人，”爱丽丝说，“如果你发现我是一个声名狼藉的人，你会很难过的，是不是?” Of all unhappy sinners I'm the most unhappy one!" The padre said, "Whatever have you been and gone and done?" "I have helped mamma to steal a little kiddy from its dad, I've assisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad, I've planned a little burglary and forged a little cheque, And slain a little baby for the coral on its neck!" The worthy pastor heaved a sigh, and dropped a silent tear, And said, "You mustn't judge yourself too heavily, my dear: It's wrong to murder babies, little corals for to fleece; But sins like these one expiates at half-a-crown apiece. "Girls will be girls - you're very young, and flighty in your mind; Old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find: We mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks - Let's see - five crimes at half-a-crown - exactly twelve-and-six." "Oh, father," little Alice cried, "your kindness makes me weep, You do these little things for me so singularly cheap - Your thoughtful liberality I never can forget; But, oh! there is another crime I haven't mentioned yet! "A pleasant-looking gentleman, with pretty purple eyes, I've noticed at my window, as I've sat a-catching flies; He passes by it every day as certain as can be - I blush to say I've winked at him, and he has winked at me!" "For shame!" said FATHER PAUL, "my erring daughter! On my word This is the most distressing news that I have ever heard. Why, naughty girl, your excellent papa has pledged your hand To a promising young robber, the lieutenant of his band! "This dreadful piece of news will pain your worthy parents so! They are the most remunerative customers I know; For many many years they've kept starvation from my doors: I never knew so criminal a family as yours! "The common country folk in this insipid neighbourhood Have nothing to confess, they're so ridiculously good; And if you marry any one respectable at all, Why, you'll reform, and what will then become of FATHER PAUL?" The worthy priest, he up and drew his cowl upon his crown, And started off in haste to tell the news to ROBBER BROWN - To tell him how his daughter, who was now for marriage fit, Had winked upon a sorter, who reciprocated it. Good ROBBER BROWN he muffled up his anger pretty well: He said, "I have a notion, and that notion I will tell; I will nab this gay young sorter, terrify him into fits, And get my gentle wife to chop him into little bits. "I've studied human nature, and I know a thing or two: Though a girl may fondly love a living gent, as many do - A feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall When she looks upon his body chopped particularly small." He traced that gallant sorter to a still suburban square; He watched his opportunity, and seized him unaware; He took a life-preserver and he hit him on the head, And MRS. BROWN dissected him before she went to bed. And pretty little ALICE grew more settled in her mind, She never more was guilty of a weakness of the kind, Until at length good ROBBER BROWN bestowed her pretty hand On the promising young robber, the lieutenant of his band.