贝利·本是个骄傲的帕夏，他有三个妻子，十条尾巴;他身材高大，但很结实，人们叫他“小回旋”。他的重要性苍白的朝圣者从大洋彼岸来等候帕夏·贝利，他们都带着礼物，因为贝利既穷又骄傲。他的礼物他们给他带来了用绳子串起来的洋葱、冷煮牛肉、望远镜、线团、虾、枪、排骨、大头钉、帽子和面包。他们更多地给他带来了白羔皮手套、桶、烛台、罐装鹌鹑、绞盘杆、天平和砝码，还有空壁炉的装饰品。我的故事不是这些——哦，不!我提到它们，只是为了向大家展示那些漂洋过海给贝利·本带来的各种各样的礼物。他的知己A的知己有贝利B，他是一只快乐的蒙古狗;我不擅长给他起土耳其名字，所以我叫他简单詹姆斯。他心腹的面容是一个可怕的传说，你可以从简单的詹姆斯诚实的脸上看出，因为在那里，你在大自然的版画中读到:“一个色彩最深的恶棍。” HIS CHARACTER A deed of blood, or fire, or flames, Was meat and drink to SIMPLE JAMES: To hide his guilt he did not plan, But owned himself a bad young man. THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER And why on earth good BAILEY BEN (The wisest, noblest, best of men) Made SIMPLE JAMES his right-hand man Is quite beyond my mental span. THE SAME, CONTINUED But there - enough of gruesome deeds! My heart, in thinking of them, bleeds; And so let SIMPLE JAMES take wing, - 'Tis not of him I'm going to sing. THE PASHA'S CLERK Good PASHA BAILEY kept a clerk (For BAILEY only made his mark), His name was MATTHEW WYCOMBE COO, A man of nearly forty-two. HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS No person that I ever knew Could "yodel" half as well as COO, And Highlanders exclaimed, "Eh, weel!" When COO began to dance a reel. HIS KINDNESS TO THE PASHA'S WIVES He used to dance and sing and play In such an unaffected way, He cheered the unexciting lives Of PASHA BAILEY'S lovely wives. THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER But why should I encumber you With histories of MATTHEW COO? Let MATTHEW COO at once take wing, - 'Tis not of COO I'm going to sing. THE AUTHOR'S MUSE Let me recall my wandering Muse; She SHALL be steady if I choose - She roves, instead of helping me To tell the deeds of BAILEY B. THE PASHA'S VISITOR One morning knocked, at half-past eight, A tall Red Indian at his gate. In Turkey, as you're p'raps aware, Red Indians are extremely rare. THE VISITOR'S OUTFIT Mocassins decked his graceful legs, His eyes were black, and round as eggs, And on his neck, instead of beads, Hung several Catawampous seeds. WHAT THE VISITOR SAID "Ho, ho!" he said, "thou pale-faced one, Poor offspring of an Eastern sun, You've NEVER seen the Red Man skip Upon the banks of Mississip!" THE AUTHOR'S MODERATION To say that BAILEY oped his eyes Would feebly paint his great surprise - To say it almost made him die Would be to paint it much too high. THE AUTHOR TO HIS READER But why should I ransack my head To tell you all that Indian said; We'll let the Indian man take wing, - 'Tis not of him I'm going to sing. THE READER TO THE AUTHOR Come, come, I say, that's quite enough Of this absurd disjointed stuff; Now let's get on to that affair About LIEUTENANT-COLONEL FLARE.