一则价值连城的丰富的建议被登了广告，要私下出售;许多牧师都在叫价;牧师西蒙·马格斯做到了。他问代理人:“代理人，我是准备马上来买(如果你的需求不是很大的话)《奥和狄格的解药》的。”“啊!”代理人说，“那儿有个铺位——世界上最舒适的牧师住宅;没有什么义务(我听说是这样的)，一年有一千五百镑!“如果我们在价格上达成一致，活人很快就会空出来;善良的现任总统已经九十五岁了，活不了多久了。看——这是他的照片——你看，他已经上了年纪了。”“啊，天哪! Poor soul!" said SIMON. "His decease Would be a merciful release!" The agent laughed - the agent blinked - The agent blew his nose and winked - And poked the parson's ribs in play - It was that agent's vulgar way. The REVEREND SIMON frowned: "I grieve This light demeanour to perceive; It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT, I think: Now - pray oblige me - do not wink. "Don't dig my waistcoat into holes - Your mission is to sell the souls Of human sheep and human kids To that divine who highest bids. "Do well in this, and on your head Unnumbered honours will be shed." The agent said, "Well, truth to tell, I HAVE been doing very well." "You should," said SIMON, "at your age; But now about the parsonage. How many rooms does it contain? Show me the photograph again. "A poor apostle's humble house Must not be too luxurious; No stately halls with oaken floor - It should be decent and no more. " No billiard-rooms - no stately trees - No croquet-grounds or pineries." "Ah!" sighed the agent, "very true: This property won't do for you." "All these about the house you'll find." - "Well," said the parson, "never mind; I'll manage to submit to these Luxurious superfluities. "A clergyman who does not shirk The various calls of Christian work, Will have no leisure to employ These 'common forms' of worldly joy. "To preach three times on Sabbath days - To wean the lost from wicked ways - The sick to soothe - the sane to wed - The poor to feed with meat and bread; "These are the various wholesome ways In which I'll spend my nights and days: My zeal will have no time to cool At croquet, archery, or pool." The agent said, "From what I hear, This living will not suit, I fear - There are no poor, no sick at all; For services there is no call." The reverend gent looked grave, "Dear me! Then there is NO 'society'? - I mean, of course, no sinners there Whose souls will be my special care?" The cunning agent shook his head, "No, none - except" - (the agent said) - "The DUKE OF A., the EARL OF B., The MARQUIS C., and VISCOUNT D. "But you will not be quite alone, For though they've chaplains of their own, Of course this noble well-bred clan Receive the parish clergyman." "Oh, silence, sir!" said SIMON M., "Dukes - Earls! What should I care for them? These worldly ranks I scorn and flout!" "Of course," the agent said, "no doubt!" "Yet I might show these men of birth The hollowness of rank on earth." The agent answered, "Very true - But I should not, if I were you." "Who sells this rich advowson, pray?" The agent winked - it was his way - "His name is HART; 'twixt me and you, He is, I'm grieved to say, a Jew!" "A Jew?" said SIMON, "happy find! I purchase this advowson, mind. My life shall be devoted to Converting that unhappy Jew!"