没有比托德上尉更高贵的上尉了，他是那么好——那么聪明——那么勇敢!不过，就像他所有的朋友都承认的那样，他有一件蠢事——只有一件——就是当了海军上校。我想我从未见过一个人如此全神贯注于制造轰动，或者我应该公正地说——阿德菲戏剧中所谓的"情境"他设计陷阱打发时间，吓唬那些毫无疑心的家伙——这是他天生的嗜好;他一走进房间就会发出"砰"的一声这使女士们大为吃惊。他戴着面具，披着围巾，你会明白，这不是开玩笑，不像有些人伪装;他这么做了，纯粹是出于对神秘的热爱和对惊喜的喜爱。我不必说他爱一个女仆——他的雄辩使所有爱慕她的人都黯然失色。我知道，女仆虽然一开始很高兴，但过了几年左右，她发现她那令人吃惊的情人使她厌烦了。 So, when his orders came to sail, She did not faint or scream or wail, Or with her tears anoint him: She shook his hand, and said "Good-bye," With laughter dancing in her eye - Which seemed to disappoint him. But ere he went aboard his boat, He placed around her little throat A ribbon, blue and yellow, On which he hung a double-tooth - A simple token this, in sooth - 'Twas all he had, poor fellow! "I often wonder," he would say, When very, very far away, "If ANGELINA wears it? A plan has entered in my head: I will pretend that I am dead, And see how ANGY bears it." The news he made a messmate tell. His ANGELINA bore it well, No sign gave she of crazing; But, steady as the Inchcape Rock, His ANGELINA stood the shock With fortitude amazing. She said, "Some one I must elect Poor ANGELINA to protect From all who wish to harm her. Since worthy CAPTAIN TODD is dead, I rather feel inclined to wed A comfortable farmer." A comfortable farmer came (BASSANIO TYLER was his name), Who had no end of treasure. He said, "My noble gal, be mine!" The noble gal did not decline, But simply said, "With pleasure." When this was told to CAPTAIN TODD, At first he thought it rather odd, And felt some perturbation; But very long he did not grieve, He thought he could a way perceive To SUCH a situation! "I'll not reveal myself," said he, "Till they are both in the Ecclesiastical arena; Then suddenly I will appear, And paralysing them with fear, Demand my ANGELINA!" At length arrived the wedding day; Accoutred in the usual way Appeared the bridal body; The worthy clergyman began, When in the gallant Captain ran And cried, "Behold your TODDY!" The bridegroom, p'raps, was terrified, And also possibly the bride - The bridesmaids WERE affrighted; But ANGELINA, noble soul, Contrived her feelings to control, And really seemed delighted. "My bride!" said gallant CAPTAIN TODD, "She's mine, uninteresting clod! My own, my darling charmer!" "Oh dear," said she, "you're just too late - I'm married to, I beg to state, This comfortable farmer!" "Indeed," the farmer said, "she's mine: You've been and cut it far too fine!" "I see," said TODD, "I'm beaten." And so he went to sea once more, "Sensation" he for aye forswore, And married on her native shore A lady whom he'd met before - A lovely Otaheitan.