一个当之无愧的优秀士兵，爱那些勇猛严厉的军官;乖的时候，他满足于逃避一切责备;淘气的时候，他喜欢被打。他喜欢因犯了错误而被人欺负，被人怒骂，或被人囚禁数日;他恨因正确地履行了职责而被人用令人厌恶的赞美来奴役。没有哪位军官像拉盖尔少校那样不喜欢赞扬他的部队，也没有哪位军官比马克雷迪·普雷雷少校更喜欢咒骂他的战士。他们的士兵崇拜他们，每个等级的人都很高兴听到他们的辱骂;尽管每当这些军官参加阅兵式时，他们就发抖，发抖。因为,哦!如果拉·盖尔能克制住一切赞美，那么，马克雷迪·普雷特也能克制住，而且，啊!如果马克雷迪会咆哮和责骂，那么，强大的拉·盖尔也会。“毫无疑问，这是我们应得的——我们并不渴望怜悯——继续吧——你是在施恩;我们宁愿被一个勇敢的战士辱骂，也不愿被一个卑鄙的胆小鬼赞美!” MAKREDI would say that in battle's fierce rage True happiness only was met: Poor MAJOR MAKREDI, though fifty his age, Had never known happiness yet! LA GUERRE would declare, "With the blood of a foe No tipple is worthy to clink." Poor fellow! he hadn't, though sixty or so, Yet tasted his favourite drink! They agreed at their mess - they agreed in the glass - They agreed in the choice of their "set," And they also agreed in adoring, alas! The Vivandiere, pretty FILLETTE. Agreement, you see, may be carried too far, And after agreeing all round For years - in this soldierly "maid of the bar," A bone of contention they found! It may seem improper to call such a pet - By a metaphor, even - a bone; But though they agreed in adoring her, yet Each wanted to make her his own. "On the day that you marry her," muttered PREPERE (With a pistol he quietly played), "I'll scatter the brains in your noddle, I swear, All over the stony parade!" "I cannot do THAT to you," answered LA GUERRE, "Whatever events may befall; But this I CAN do - IF YOU wed her, MON CHER! I'll eat you, moustachios and all!" The rivals, although they would never engage, Yet quarrelled whenever they met; They met in a fury and left in a rage, But neither took pretty FILLETTE. "I am not afraid," thought MAKREDI PREPERE: "For country I'm ready to fall; But nobody wants, for a mere Vivandiere, To be eaten, moustachios and all! "Besides, though LA GUERRE has his faults, I'll allow He's one of the bravest of men: My goodness! if I disagree with him now, I might disagree with him then." "No coward am I," said LA GUERRE, "as you guess - I sneer at an enemy's blade; But I don't want PREPERE to get into a mess For splashing the stony parade!" One day on parade to PREPERE and LA GUERRE Came CORPORAL JACOT DEBETTE, And trembling all over, he prayed of them there To give him the pretty FILLETTE. "You see, I am willing to marry my bride Until you've arranged this affair; I will blow out my brains when your honours decide Which marries the sweet Vivandiere!" "Well, take her,' said both of them in a duet (A favourite form of reply), "But when I am ready to marry FILLETTE. Remember you've promised to die!" He married her then: from the flowery plains Of existence the roses they cull: He lived and he died with his wife; and his brains Are reposing in peace in his skull.