(在“一个可怕的故事”的空中演唱)哦，列出汤姆逊格林和哈里特黑尔的这个令人难以置信的故事;它的真理在一句话中你会总结——“废话，废话，废话，废话，废话，废话，废话!”哦，汤姆森·格林是个拍卖师，一年挣三百英镑;说来也很奇怪，哈丽特·黑尔每天上一镑的钢琴课。哦，我得说，汤姆森·格林在摄政公园遇见了哈里特·黑尔，在那里他以一种漫不经心的口吻谈到了这一天的非凡美景。他们又见面了，虽然奇怪，但却是真的。他追求了她一两个月，然后对她爸爸说:“老头，我爱你的女儿，你的女儿也崇拜我!”他们的名字是经常被禁止的，结婚的日子已经定了，经过我的调查，他们在圣玛丽修道院教堂秘密举行了婚礼。哦，列举一下汤姆逊·格林和哈里特·黑尔这个令人难以置信的故事吧，你可以用一句话来概括它的真理——“废话，废话，废话，废话，废话，废话，废话!”就在那天下午，他们开始了他们的蜜月旅行，(哦，惊讶!)他们飞到了怀特岛尚克林附近的一个漂亮的小别墅。可是现在——我知道你会怀疑我的话——不到一个月，他们俩都回来了，瞧! Astounding fact! this happy pair Took a gentlemanly residence in Canonbury Square! They led a weird and reckless life, They dined each day, this man and wife (Pray disbelieve it, if you please), On a joint of meat, a pudding, and a little bit of cheese. In time came those maternal joys Which take the form of girls or boys, And strange to say of each they'd one - A tiddy-iddy daughter, and a tiddy-iddy son! Oh, list to this incredible tale Of THOMSON GREEN and HARRIET HALE, Its truth in one remark you'll sum - "Twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twum!" My name for truth is gone, I fear, But, monstrous as it may appear, They let their drawing-room one day To an eligible person in the cotton-broking way. Whenever THOMSON GREEN fell sick His wife called in a doctor, quick, From whom some words like these would come - FIAT MIST. SUMENDUM HAUSTUS, in a COCHLEYAREUM. For thirty years this curious pair Hung out in Canonbury Square, And somehow, wonderful to say, They loved each other dearly in a quiet sort of way. Well, THOMSON GREEN fell ill and died; For just a year his widow cried, And then her heart she gave away To the eligible lodger in the cotton-broking way. Oh, list to this incredible tale Of THOMSON GREEN and HARRIET HALE, Its truth in one remark you'll sum - "Twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twum!"